Desieree Makalew moved to Singapore from Indonesia 26 years ago and has since made it home, building a life shaped by curiosity, discipline, and quiet reflection. Outside of her professional work, she finds grounding in simple rituals such as spending time with loved ones, taking landscape photographs, exercising, knitting, and enjoying an unhurried cup of coffee. She is equally at ease “camping” in libraries, reading everything from random titles to books on forensic and criminal psychology, and following sports ranging from tennis and Formula One to football.
Her professional journey began far from psychology. Desieree spent years working in finance and commercial roles across France, Japan, and Indonesia, in environments defined by high pressure, constant performance demands, and measurable outcomes. Her interest in performance and mental resilience was already present then, rooted in a childhood shaped by competitive tennis and later reinforced through professional challenges in demanding corporate settings. Over time, however, the emotional cost of sustained pressure became increasingly difficult to ignore.
The transition away from the corporate world marked a major turning point in her midlife journey. Years in result-orientated financial and commodity industries had left her emotionally drained, deeply self-critical, and disconnected from her own well-being. The challenge was not only external, but internal, shaped by a relentless inner critic, heightened emotional reactivity, and a growing sense of lost purpose. Moving into psychology was less a sudden career shift and more a response to the recognition that her life needed to be realigned from the inside out.
The path forward was not straightforward. Desieree’s tendency to overanalyse and judge herself often slowed her progress, making change feel heavier and more complex than it needed to be. Gradually, however, she began learning how to work with her thoughts and emotions rather than against them. Instead of pushing herself to arrive at clarity, she allowed herself to grow through experience, learning to trust her instincts and accept that progress could be uneven without being unproductive.
Through this process, her understanding of resilience evolved. She came to see that emotional regulation and social support are not optional extras, but essential foundations for a sustainable life. Strength, she learned, does not come from relentless pushing or emotional suppression, but from the ability to pause, reflect, and re-engage with intention. This reframing helped her reconnect with herself and rebuild a sense of purpose that felt authentic rather than driven by expectation.
As her relationship with herself deepened, Desieree’s perspective on life shifted in profound ways. What once felt like a race to prove competence, endurance, or worth gradually became a mission grounded in service. She now sees her role less as striving to succeed and more as supporting others in making friends with themselves, developing emotional awareness, and reconnecting with their own sense of purpose. Her work reflects this alignment, drawing together her lived experience, professional training, and a deep respect for the complexity of human growth.
One idea that continues to resonate deeply with Desieree is a Japanese proverb she holds close: Nanakorobi yaoki (七転び八起き), meaning “fall seven times, stand up eight”. It captures her experience of midlife not as a smooth upward trajectory, but as a series of setbacks, recalibrations, and renewed commitments to stand again with greater awareness. Resilience, in this sense, is not about avoiding difficulty, but about choosing to rise with compassion and clarity each time.
For Desieree, Prime Midlife represents a phase defined by both authenticity and intention. It is a time when lived experience provides the confidence to be honest with oneself, and clarity offers the ability to move forward with meaning rather than urgency. Instead of proving or fixing, she now focuses on building a life that is aligned, sustainable, and purposeful, guided by a deeper understanding of herself and a commitment to supporting others on their own journeys.
Looking for a safe space to reset, reflect, and strengthen your mental resilience?
Connect with Desieree, psychologist and founder of RE:Ignite Psychotherapy, for a personal mental wellbeing check-in. Quote PRIMEMIDLIFE when you reach out via info@reignitepsy.com or WhatsApp (+65) 9027 0475.
