Revisiting the Existential Questions
Turning 57, and entering a new life chapter, I recently revisited the existential questions: Who am I? What is my purpose?
It had been more than a decade since I last paused to reflect deeply, and I was curious to see how my answers had evolved.
Who I Am – Revisited
My current Self is a free Spirit, living with gratitude, vitality, and presence. I strive to be mindful in each moment, passionate about health, fitness, and fun. My choices are guided by wellbeing and fulfillment, fuelled by a deep curiosity to learn, grow, and experience life fully.
I’m a people person who thrives on connection — with family, friends, colleagues, and even strangers – across the world. Energy, laughter, and shared experiences light me up.
My Life Purpose – Redefined
My purpose in life is simple but deeply rooted: to inspire and support people from all walks of life to live with Vitality — in every sense of the word. I try to live this by example, personally and professionally.
In my career, I’ve focused on building and leading diverse, dynamic, international teams that thrive on creativity, collaboration, and a shared drive to overcome challenges in pursuit of meaningful goals.
These reflections were profoundly shaped by a major life event that gave me a new appreciation for what living with Vitality truly means — and how trauma can become a bridge to helping others find their own path to a richer, more fulfilled life.
The Mid-Life Shock
At age 50, my world was turned upside down.
On a business trip in Europe, I received a text message that was to change my life : my 14-year-old daughter at school in Hong Kong had attempted suicide. The doctor’s note said she needed immediate hospitalisation in a secure unit.
The shock was indescribable. My emotions and priorities collapsed in an instant. I packed, rushed to the airport, and got on the next flight home.
Back in Hong Kong, we quickly realised the local system lacked the specialised care our daughter needed. As a family, we made the painful decision for my wife to take her to England for treatment. We thought it would be temporary — a few weeks at most. But as we learned more about mental health, we understood there was no “quick fix.” Our daughter’s recovery would be a long journey requiring patience, monitoring, and support.
I stayed behind in Hong Kong, alone, waiting for the phone call I dreaded most. I planned my daughter’s funeral in my head countless times. Then came COVID. The isolation deepened, and travel restrictions kept us apart. Those were the darkest years of my life.
Time and Love: The Two Healers
Looking back, I see that two forces helped us survive that period: time and love.
We had to grieve, accept, and slowly let go of the life we once knew. My wife and I stayed connected through daily conversations, exploring every possible treatment and support for our daughter.
She spent six months in a specialised care unit, followed by two years of homeschooling. Her anxiety, depression, and self-harm risk remained high. The uncertainty was relentless. Doctors reminded us: we had to trust the process — the outcome was beyond our control.
During that time, I joined support groups and became involved with Mind HK as a board member, and with Mind UK through marathon fundraising. Those communities gave me perspective and hope.
Over the next few years, we found a new rhythm as a family — learning to “live together apart” across continents. We became more open-minded about the future, understanding that depression isn’t something you fix; it’s something you journey through with patience, compassion, and unwavering love.
Today, our daughter is studying psychology at university. In April 2026, she’ll run the London Marathon for Mind UK, raising funds to help others. She’s gone beyond coping — today, she’s thriving.
What I Learned
Depression is an illness, not a weakness. That truth reshaped how I see the world.
I completed mental health first aid training, which equipped me to support others — and to better understand myself. I became more aware of my own emotional rhythms and the importance of healthy coping mechanisms.
I also learned something profound about priorities. I’d once been consumed by work, chasing goals and income. But when faced with the possible loss of a loved one, none of that mattered. A high-paying job means nothing when life itself hangs in the balance.
Now, I prioritise creating memories over milestones. I tell people I love them openly and often, because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Especially for men, society often teaches emotional restraint — I’ve let go of that inhibition. Vulnerability is empowering.
Living in the Present
If this experience taught me one enduring lesson, it’s this: live in the present and treasure each day.
Mental health deserves the same care and respect as physical health — it’s invisible but powerful, fragile yet essential, and it can affect anyone, anytime.
My core life value, “Vitality”, has taken on new meaning. It’s no longer just about fitness or energy, but the integration of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.
I now live by example, hoping to inspire others to make their health — across all dimensions — a priority. Vitality isn’t a permanent state you reach and then relax; it’s a daily practice of balance, awareness, and gratitude.
The Prime Mindset
To me, Prime Midlife represents a stage of life — a chapter where we choose to thrive, not just survive.
It’s when we stop being driven by ego or accumulation and start aligning life with purpose and personal values. Being in one’s Prime means living with vitality, authenticity, and joy — shining our light beyond conventional measures of success.
But reaching that state requires a mindset shift. People often struggle with transitions because change feels uncertain, even when it leads to something better.
In my own journey, guidance from coaches, mentors, and the hard-won lessons of my 40s helped me expand my understanding of what “Prime” could mean. Without that support, I might have stayed in a comfortable and happy life, but not fulfilled to the extent I now know is possible.
Real transformation requires either great pain or great inspiration — sometimes both. For me, it was the pain of almost losing my daughter that opened my heart, deepened my empathy, and reminded me of what truly matters.
Today
Today, I define success not by titles or achievements, but by presence, purpose, and vitality.
Life will always throw challenges our way — but we can choose how to meet them: with love, patience, and hope.
That’s what being in my Prime means. Not a perfect life — but a fully lived one.
